"Why did I even join this cult?" (d10)

 1 - It didn't start out as a cult, but sure got pretty cult-y, pretty quick

"I don't remember the Pledge of Allegiance having so many references to Draxmar the Undying One. When did that happen?"

2 - I'm susceptible to peer pressure

"That recruiter made some good points - I suppose if all my friends are doing it, then it's probably fine".

3 - Just kinda fell into it, I guess

"Well I was part of the Church of Oog initially, then I joined an offshoot of the Temple of Heavenly Pleasure, then I did a stint with some people who called themselves 'The Order of the Hidden Eye', and now I guess I'm here."

4 - Long family history of cult activities

"I remember when I was a kid, my dad had me sacrifice our gardener to the Dark Consuming Void, and it just bummed me out so much. Ah, the naivete of youth."

5 - This is a cult? You guys told me it was a book club!

"I was wondering why every week's choice ended up being The Necronomicon..."

6 - Seemed like a good way to spend my Tuesday nights

Yeah, there's too much chanting and I'm not keen on giving away my wife and all my material possessions, but I'll be damned if I'm ever going bowling with Brian Mathison again"

7 - The benefits package is amazing!

"Ok, yes... I'm on some government watch lists now - but these guys have a dental plan! And free childcare! Plus all the 'eternal bliss of paradise' stuff sounds pretty sweet, and these robes are super plush."

8 - These people are like a family to me 

"Specifically they're like my verbally-abusive father, my religiously fanatical aunt, and like the cousin that molested me when I was 10."

9 - Cult? What cult? There's no cult here

"No, we're not a cult - we're a multi-layered upstream lifestyle platform that leverages relationships and empowers you to be your own boss."

10 - I like these real human connections

"The therapist said it would be good for me to get back on my feet and mingle a bit after the divorce."